


Holding You Close

by whatsanapocalae



Category: Deus Ex: Human Revolution
Genre: Anxiety, Drinking, Inspired by Fanart, M/M, Mutual Pining, One Night Stands, Touch-Starved, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-27
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2020-02-07 04:08:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18612826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatsanapocalae/pseuds/whatsanapocalae
Summary: Jensen, drunk for the moment, invites Pritchard over for a one night stand. After a lot of anxiety, Frank learns that it isn't that much of a one night stand but something a bit longer. After a single touch, it become clears just how much Adam needs someone in his life. Inspired by this https://asphy7.tumblr.com/post/160651345760/the-blissful-touch-of-skin-on-skin-after-so-long





	Holding You Close

The phone call was enough of a surprise, coming to him in the middle of the night. His communicator flashed into life, a small alarm going off in his skull, and then he was awake. He had actually gone to sleep at a decent time too. He couldn’t blame whoever was calling for that though, if they knew him at all they would have been surprised to hear that he’d gone to bed before two am. 

“What is it?” he snarled all the same, rolling onto his back. 

“Francis?” the voice on the other side sounded odd, rough, too rough for anyone other than Adam. 

“Jensen? You may not understand this, what with your crazy midnight shenanigans, but some of us need to sleep. Or did you forget what tomorrow is?”

“I didn’t forget,” Adam’s voice was somewhat slurred. He must have been drinking something really strong then. His healing factor didn’t allow for much intoxication. 

“I thought you might want to come over.”

“And do what exactly? You’re a grown ass adult and you’ll be done being drunk in about five minutes, what do you need a babysitter for?”

There was a pause and he wondered if he went too far. He’d never gone too far with Adam before. He always wondered if it was possible. It was so easy with everyone else. With Jensen it was just fun. He didn’t care. He fought back, he bit at the play, he was fun to talk to, as much as Frank pretended that it was frustrating. At first it had been. 

“You want to celebrate the contract?”

“What contract?”

“The one we’re getting tomorrow. Pay raises across the company.”

Frank pinched the bridge of his nose. He’d much rather be asleep. He had to present at the conference. He had to talk in front of people and, more than anything else, he had to be polite. He didn’t even know why he had to talk, he wasn’t an engineer, he didn’t know much about augmenting anyway, he was just security. They were both security. 

“We haven’t gotten it yet. Go to sleep Jensen.”

“You’re nervous.”

He didn’t want to say that. He didn’t want to admit to it. He was though. There was anxiety pouring through him and he’d actually had to take some pills to go to sleep and not wake up every hour. Now they were useless. He was awake and he doubted he’d go back to sleep for another long while. 

“Come over,” he repeated.

“And do what?” Frank could feel a tingle through his spine, a new bit of anxiety, a new type. He didn’t know what Adam wanted from him but there was a note to his voice that drew his attention in such a strong way. He’d never been invited to Adam’s apartment before. 

“I can distract you, from the anxiety,” Adam started, his gravely voice an actual purr that made the tingling in Francis’ spine all the stronger. He could do things, with that voice, that made Frank’s legs feel like jelly. It was a good thing that he was usually sitting, his lap hidden under a desk, when Adam pulled that. He wouldn’t be surprised if Adam was using those pheromones too. “You can come over and I could make you feel just, so very good. Francis, you want to feel good right? All this time we’ve known each other; I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone make a pass at you. How long has it been, since someone fucked you?”

Frank swallowed and felt himself, hard and soaking, in his briefs. He’d never expected this. He’d never expected Jensen to speak like this, to anyone, and definitely not to him. Maybe to Meghan, but she was gone. His hand trailed down between his legs. His briefs were all that he was wearing and he could feel his wetness through them. He bit his lip. 

“You’re going to regret saying that when you sober up.” He couldn’t bring in the usual toxins into his voice. His words had no bite. 

“I’ll be sober by the time you get here. You need the address?”

“I know where you live Jensen.”

“I’ll see you in a few then.”

The line went dead and Frank just lay there, staring at the ceiling. He doubted that was a dream but it couldn’t have been real. That wasn’t possible. He wondered if he could rub one out before he got there. That would just make him feel filthy, he knew that, he would get to Adam’s house, stinking of his own fluids, and then Adam would turn him away because this was a drunken hookup and Adam wouldn’t be drunk anymore. Adam wouldn’t want him sober. No one did, not with the way he used his mouth most days. 

He rolled out of bed, pulling his greasy hair back and wishing that he could at least take a shower first. He didn’t even bother putting on clean clothes, just the ones from the day would be fine, and then left the apartment for his bike. The vibration of the road worked wonders on him, making him keep that hardness, and he tried to focus on that, on the route, on the tension that seemed to always be in the Detroit air these days, instead of on the knot that was forming in his stomach. 

He was going to get to Adam’s apartment, find that it was all some sort of joke. Be made a fool of. There was no way that this was happening. There was no reason that Adam was serious about this or that he would go through with it once Frank was there. 

He parked near the entrance. He gave a nervous wave to the receptionist, wondering what kind of apartment building had a receptionist, and got in the elevator. He breathed. He tried to calm himself, to ignore the jittering in his arms, the pounding in his heart, the way that his throat was so tight. 

He knocked on the door. He waited. He pretended that he wasn’t about to run. 

“Francis,” Adam said his name so calmly, so warmly, when he opened the door. He looked good, wearing a black turtleneck and a gold waistcoat, black slacks with gold piping on the sides. “You actually came.”

Frank was dressed like a slob. He looked as much like a man woken up in the middle of the night as he was. He shouldn’t have come. 

“What are you wearing?”

“Just checking it out for tomorrow. What do you think?” He turned, showing Frank from all angles. The slacks hugged his ass a bit much and the vest was so tight that he could see all of the places where Adam was strongest. 

“You look like David Serif Jr.”

Adam laughed at that, a bit more than his usual gruff bark. He led Frank into the messy apartment, never fully moved into, and the door swung closed behind him. He was trapped now, an animal with his foot in the trap. He had too choices, be fucked or bite his own foot off. He opted to just hope that Adam wasn’t really going to go through with it, that this would be an uncomfortable night to be forgotten. 

“You want a drink?” Adam offered, pulling out a bottle of whiskey that only had a shot or two left in it. 

“Only way you can get laid, huh?” Frank joked but he could see how Adam’s face shifted, the emotions slightly tightening as his smile faltered, “By getting me as wasted as you were on the phone?”

“Is that really what you think of me?” Adam set the bottle down. His black fingers clicked against one another. Frank wished he’d pull down the shades. “You could have just insulted me over the phone.”

“I prefer to see your face when I tease you.” Frank’s arms were crossed. He didn’t know how to uncross them. He was suddenly very conscious of his chest. “And I was curious about how serious you were.”

“I was serious, but if you’re going to be an ass-”

“When am I not?” 

“True.” The realization brought that small smile back to Adam’s face. It looked good on him. Everything looked good on him. Frank wondered if he could even look good on him. 

“You want me to?” Frank asked, wrapping his teeth around his ankle. 

“No.” It came out a little too fast, a bit too nervous, and Adam was getting close to him, reaching out for him, with that hand that could punch through walls. Frank wondered if it would be cold against him, if it would kill him, if it would break him so nothing else would feel so good again. He’d been so carefully not to touch Adam. “No please, stay. I. I’m not very good at this, am I?”

Frank walked towards the door before the hand could rest on his shoulder, bending down to take off his boots. “What, calling your male coworker over for a quickie when you’ve always passed yourself off as straight? I don’t think you really should be good at that.”

Adam ran a hand through his hair. “It took a long time to get to this point, you mind not making me feel bad about it?”

It took a long time? Adam had been thinking about doing this? He may have been as nervous about it as Frank was. Frank swallowed, trying to wrap his mind around that. He hadn’t thought that Adam was interested. He hadn’t thought that anybody would be. 

When he spoke next it was quiet, it was as scared as he felt, even though he was trying to hide it. He stayed down, near the floor, when he asked. “I wasn’t just the first number in your contact list, was I?”

“No.”

He bit at his lip. He tore at the skin. He didn’t know what to think about that. He didn’t know what to think about any of this. He stood up, using his feet to kick his boots off the rest of the way. 

“You know you’re making a mistake, right?” He couldn’t talk any louder, he couldn’t force himself to. He wanted to run. He wanted to have Jensen against him, wanted to feel how strong he was, wanted to suffocate under him, had for a long time now, before the incident even, but he wanted to run. He didn’t know what this would do to him. 

He jumped when Adam’s hand touched his shoulder. He could feel the pressure under it. He tried to force himself to breathe. He tried to settle his nerves. Adam could break his shoulder like this. 

“You like to point out a lot of my mistakes. I don’t think this one could be much worse than the rest.”

It was a combination of pushing and backing away that got them to the door, that hand still on Frank’s shoulder and the other cupping his cheek as Adam kissed him. His lips were smooth and the ridge at the corners of his lips were hard. There was a terrible need in his kisses, like he hadn’t kissed anyone since Meghan, when anyone would be happy to kiss him. Adam was beautiful, he wasn’t a force of nature but he was a force of something, and he was strong, and he was so very much what so many people would want to be under. There was no reason for him to kiss Frank this way. 

“Jensen,” Frank breathed, his voice a whine as he felt himself go rigid. His body wanted this, his mind wanted this, but his anxiety was spiraling, thoughts jumbling, panic rising. He felt too hot. He felt like he was going to burst, in one way or another, crying or screaming or running. It was all too much. 

“Are you okay?” Adam asked, pulling away slightly. 

Frank inhaled, staring up, trying to collect himself. “No. No I’m really not.” 

Adam let go of him immediately, taking a few steps back. His hands were raised. “Sorry. Sorry, I should have asked. If you’re not interested, that’s fine. I shouldn’t have wasted your time.”

“I’m interested,” Frank said, flatly, “just a bit overwhelmed.”

“Slower?” Adam offered.

“I’d say faster if this really was a one night stand but I don’t know what this is now. I know you’re wearing too much for whatever this is.”

Adam chuckled. It sounded good. It made Frank’s nerves settle a bit. He undid his vest though and set it on one of the chairs, following it with his shirt. “I can’t be the only one stripping here.”

Frank’s face went red and he started on his jacket. “No judgment, alright?” he swallowed. He was going to disappoint, he knew that. “Not all of us are chiseled.”

“Oh, you’re soft, are you?” Adam flashed him a smile and it was warm and welcome. His chest was free and he was working on his sleeves. Frank could see how the shoulders were connected to his chest. He could see the healed scars. He had seen it before. He’d seen Adam when he was ‘dead’ and when he was healing and he’d seen the blueprints. Seeing him like this though, this was different. “I can work on that.”

Frank gulped and pulled off his shirt, hands immediately wanting to come up and cover his chest. He wasn’t soft. He was skinny and lean and he didn’t have a single muscle on him. The scars on his chest had mostly vanished at least so he didn’t have to worry about those unless Adam wanted to take a very good look at him. As it was he could feel Adam’s gaze on him, searching him. 

“You look good.” 

“Sure, if you like laffy taffy.”

Adam cackled. Frank stared at him. He was hearing a lot of noises from Adam tonight. He wondered which other ones he’d hear. He wondered which ones he’d hear when they got rid of their pants. 

Adam folded up his shirt, put it with the vest. He took a step towards Frank then. His hand was out, palm up, and Frank knew that hidden in the wrist was a blade, that he could be killed so easily, that Adam had been turned into a weapon. He also knew though, that Adam wouldn’t hurt him, not here, not intentionally. 

He took his hand. He let himself get pulled closer. 

“You mind taking off a little more?” Frank asked. 

Adam quirked an eyebrow. “Can I get a kiss first?”

He shook his head. “No, I’m not going to kiss you. I’m not going to touch you, until you take those damn shades off.”

Both eyebrows went up. “Okay, okay.” They slid back into their sheathes and Frank sighed, finally able to look Adam in the eyes. They were green still, somewhat, but it was hard to see them through the gold rings that seemed to glow. They probably did. The lenses probably helped keep him hidden a bit. “Better?”

“Better,” Frank purred, feeling the anxiety dwindle. He could read Adam like this. He didn’t have to guess as much. It made him more human. 

He put a hand on Adam’s chest, getting on his tiptoes to kiss the man, but Adam shuddered and sighed, exhaling heavily before Frank even reached his lips. It was an odd response. Frank went back onto the flats of his feet, finding that his hand was on Adam’s pectoral, just under the large black bolts. He could see the seams, just under the skin, of where the alloy ended and Adam started. His spread his fingers, feeling how Adam tensed and shivered. 

“Jensen,” Frank breathed, tracing the seams with his eyes, finding a piece of human on his hip and putting his other hand to it, making Adam gasp and pull. He seemed to be trying to get away, but push into it at the same time. His body was sensitive, whatever parts of it were still there. “How long has it been since someone touched you?”

Adam leaned forward, leaning his cheek against Frank’s forehead, and he breathed. He wasn’t moving, wasn’t taking control. He was just standing there, letting Frank do as he pleased. He’d never expected Adam to react like this. He didn’t know why he ever would. 

“Please?”

He brought his hand up to Adam’s cheek and brought his fingers from the bone up past his temple and into his hair and Adam’s eyes were closed, his expression tense. He looked as overwhelmed as Frank had been just a few minutes before. 

“Sorry this isn’t exactly the passionate night I promised,” his voice was so sad. He sounded like he was barely holding himself together. Frank didn’t want to see what would happen if Adam were to ever fall apart. 

He ran his fingers around one of the knobs, trailed his fingers down a bit, “Adam, how’s this?”

Adam thought on that for a while, his eyebrows pinched. “… feels nice.”

“See, this is fine.” He got on his tiptoes again, kissing Adam gently, more gently than he’d been kissed before. 

Slowly Adam brought his hands up, wrapping his arms around Frank’s chest, and pulling him flush to him, his grip just a little bit too tight. It didn’t hurt, it was what Adam needed. Frank had come here expecting to be treated roughly, not that his own gentle touch would be needed. He had never thought that Adam might need to be treated like this, like he was delicate. 

“You want to go to bed?” Frank asked, not moving, just nuzzling against Adam’s cheek, whispering into his ear. 

“You still want me like this?” Adam bit the words. 

Frank could have laughed then, because he was expecting those words to come out of him, if they’d ever gotten to the point of taking their pants off. 

“Just think it would be more comfortable,” he mused. “I’m going to touch you, Adam, everywhere you want me too.”  
Adam squeezed him tighter and Frank almost kicked him, feeling his ribs creek. “Hey hey! Stop with that, I know your salary, you can’t afford my hospital bills.”

Adam released him, his laugh a tight line. “I can afford that.”

“No you can’t,” Frank extricated himself from Adam’s hold and led they way down the hall. “I only go to top rate hospitals. Now which of this is the bedroom?” 

Adam laughed again, his hand taking Frank’s and holding it so gently now, alloy thumb rubbing circles into his skin.


End file.
